"I am coming from Romania"
“I am coming from Romania”, I answer. And suddenly the whole discussion that was captivating and interesting had turned out cold. “Romania is a very, very poor country. I had been there with a friend of mine and lots of agricultural fields… very agricultural country… and dirty, almost no industry”, says the representative of foreign affairs of Netherlands, a lady in her 50’ies, very well dressed, intelectual and that apparently seemed quite opened minded… This happened in London not too long ago, at a fancy gala dinner.
Not the first time I can hear such reflections about my country…
And yes I am not proud of my country anyways. I am not feeling great being Romanian and I whish to live in some country, in Europe though probably somewhere north, were it does not matter from which country I am coming… Some other country that does not have the same problems with street dogs, poverty, discrimination, politicians that do not do their job right or that are accused of fraud and illegal acts… A country where my rights or anyone’s rights are not just written in a constitution that none cares, but are also put in practice and truly respected.
Unfortunately there is still a long way to go… and it seems to me that every time I am going somewhere nolens-volens I am carrying not only my Romanian genes but as well a huge tail of bad fame and shameful acts. I feel like I had inherited, at my birth, a cursed legacy that I didn’t want.
In replay to the beautiful serene lady I tried to say that still, Romania is a beautiful country it has lots of wild mountains, and forests, and Danube Delta and some very welcoming people…. but while I was saying this I was listening to myself and I started to doubt if all these are true. So is true we have lots of mountains around 70% of Romania is covered with mountains, but we don’t take care of them most of the times the tourists that climb them never take their garbage with them back in the cities from were they came from – soon you can meet around all the favorite camping spots mountains of garbage none cares or simply get used with (*). So is true that we have forests… but have you also heard that we cut them irrationally and without any authorization or without care of the environment? … Is also true we have a Delta, the Danube delta…one of the latest wild corners of Europe… but have you heard of the oil spills, the poaching and other environmental disasters produced by the carelessness of the people – of the Romanian people…. Hence I was doubting about the beautiful, gorgeous, wild nature of Romania.
Let me think of something that can make me proud....
Our politicians? That every time represents our country in the EU or elsewhere I imagine them crawling in their knees and begging with their hats in hands…? Or that otherwise back in their country they are accused of steeling money and having run fraud businesses in the shadow of their high political positions…??
Ok so maybe if not our politicians maybe our people, our dear Romanian fellows? That every time I hear about them on TV, at ProTV or Antena1, when they went to work abroad, they had been accused of stealing or dishonesty and lies…
Or maybe our beautiful history.. which one would you like to hear the one about Dracula – which is quite old fashioned and I doubt that today is anything else than Hollywood myth - , or the one about Ceausescu??
And hence, here is me wanting to find something that worth being proud of being Romanian.
Is it the society to blame, the past regime, the present one? Or no, in fact none is to blame, is only me and my disorders, the inferiority complex that I feel like overwhelming me every time I mention my origin.
I am feeling trapped between 2 worlds: one coming from the communist regime and before I was born that nowadays is feeling free and democratic but has no money to pay the hot water bills, and other generation that is coming after me in this beautiful democratic times and that cares about nothing except themselves – and some of these are those that go to prostitute in the same country the beautiful lady came.
The so cold post-Ceausescu period is blurry and deceiving, we have no ideals, no dreams…and of course that this is happening because most of us had spent their childhoods behind the blocks of flats: “Macarale stralucesc in soare/ Se rotesc si impanzesc…cerul…..macarale… ”. The same blocks of flats that hide behind them, the things the communistic regime didn’t want to see: churches, garbage, dogs, beggars, deserted playgrounds and kids that fight… and the same things are still there and we still don’t want to see them. The same blocks of flats that hide people inside them like cockroaches, in small cells in which everyone are watching TV in the evening when they come from work… Everyone trapped in their own idea of private life, of intimacy, of good/large/cheap supermarkets, of mobile phones, of manele, of street dogs, of politics…– and this even even if the old man form the 6th floor is watching others undressing in the evening in our apartment at the 3rd floor, or even if the supermarket in the corner is full of people that are themselves full of consumerism taken from the TV and the "West world" - to be red "the world we want to be" - , even if we don't have money to pay the bill for the mobile phone but we like playing from time to time to kill the time some inocent games, even if a poor Japanees guy died just a couple of days ago bitten by a street dog, even if our politicians smile to give us the idea that they are fair and right....
I wonder if we will ever be accepted in Europe - to be read: entering in EU. I am considering myself and I am feeling European. I want to be part of Europe… I see it as a positive milestone in the our process of realizing again a common dream that is hopefully to the best of all… For centuries Romania had neither been considered nor European, nor Soviet, nor Balkan….as me it was also trapped between the Latin and the Slavic world….
PS: Apologises to my dutch friends... I am sure that the lady in cause is not representing them. In any case it could have been a similar lady from Sweeden, or UK or France, or it could have very well be a serious and important politician from Armenia.
(*) Not to forget to mention here the gold mining with cyanides – a very poisonous chemical substance used to extract the gold from the ores and that is proved of seriously harming the brain and heart and producing breathing difficulties and even coma and death - that is supposed taking place in the West Carpathians in Rosia Montana. Not only that the mining will displace households and people, or that it will produce a terrible environmental disaster by deforesting large areas, or poisoning air and soil, but the company that is owning 80% of the business, that is Canadian, appear of obtaining the contract by the unfair and unlawful influence of some Romanian politicians that are, of course not openly, included in the business… (http://www.rosiamontana.org/index.htm)
Not the first time I can hear such reflections about my country…
And yes I am not proud of my country anyways. I am not feeling great being Romanian and I whish to live in some country, in Europe though probably somewhere north, were it does not matter from which country I am coming… Some other country that does not have the same problems with street dogs, poverty, discrimination, politicians that do not do their job right or that are accused of fraud and illegal acts… A country where my rights or anyone’s rights are not just written in a constitution that none cares, but are also put in practice and truly respected.
Unfortunately there is still a long way to go… and it seems to me that every time I am going somewhere nolens-volens I am carrying not only my Romanian genes but as well a huge tail of bad fame and shameful acts. I feel like I had inherited, at my birth, a cursed legacy that I didn’t want.
In replay to the beautiful serene lady I tried to say that still, Romania is a beautiful country it has lots of wild mountains, and forests, and Danube Delta and some very welcoming people…. but while I was saying this I was listening to myself and I started to doubt if all these are true. So is true we have lots of mountains around 70% of Romania is covered with mountains, but we don’t take care of them most of the times the tourists that climb them never take their garbage with them back in the cities from were they came from – soon you can meet around all the favorite camping spots mountains of garbage none cares or simply get used with (*). So is true that we have forests… but have you also heard that we cut them irrationally and without any authorization or without care of the environment? … Is also true we have a Delta, the Danube delta…one of the latest wild corners of Europe… but have you heard of the oil spills, the poaching and other environmental disasters produced by the carelessness of the people – of the Romanian people…. Hence I was doubting about the beautiful, gorgeous, wild nature of Romania.
Let me think of something that can make me proud....
Our politicians? That every time represents our country in the EU or elsewhere I imagine them crawling in their knees and begging with their hats in hands…? Or that otherwise back in their country they are accused of steeling money and having run fraud businesses in the shadow of their high political positions…??
Ok so maybe if not our politicians maybe our people, our dear Romanian fellows? That every time I hear about them on TV, at ProTV or Antena1, when they went to work abroad, they had been accused of stealing or dishonesty and lies…
Or maybe our beautiful history.. which one would you like to hear the one about Dracula – which is quite old fashioned and I doubt that today is anything else than Hollywood myth - , or the one about Ceausescu??
And hence, here is me wanting to find something that worth being proud of being Romanian.
Is it the society to blame, the past regime, the present one? Or no, in fact none is to blame, is only me and my disorders, the inferiority complex that I feel like overwhelming me every time I mention my origin.
I am feeling trapped between 2 worlds: one coming from the communist regime and before I was born that nowadays is feeling free and democratic but has no money to pay the hot water bills, and other generation that is coming after me in this beautiful democratic times and that cares about nothing except themselves – and some of these are those that go to prostitute in the same country the beautiful lady came.
The so cold post-Ceausescu period is blurry and deceiving, we have no ideals, no dreams…and of course that this is happening because most of us had spent their childhoods behind the blocks of flats: “Macarale stralucesc in soare/ Se rotesc si impanzesc…cerul…..macarale… ”. The same blocks of flats that hide behind them, the things the communistic regime didn’t want to see: churches, garbage, dogs, beggars, deserted playgrounds and kids that fight… and the same things are still there and we still don’t want to see them. The same blocks of flats that hide people inside them like cockroaches, in small cells in which everyone are watching TV in the evening when they come from work… Everyone trapped in their own idea of private life, of intimacy, of good/large/cheap supermarkets, of mobile phones, of manele, of street dogs, of politics…– and this even even if the old man form the 6th floor is watching others undressing in the evening in our apartment at the 3rd floor, or even if the supermarket in the corner is full of people that are themselves full of consumerism taken from the TV and the "West world" - to be red "the world we want to be" - , even if we don't have money to pay the bill for the mobile phone but we like playing from time to time to kill the time some inocent games, even if a poor Japanees guy died just a couple of days ago bitten by a street dog, even if our politicians smile to give us the idea that they are fair and right....
I wonder if we will ever be accepted in Europe - to be read: entering in EU. I am considering myself and I am feeling European. I want to be part of Europe… I see it as a positive milestone in the our process of realizing again a common dream that is hopefully to the best of all… For centuries Romania had neither been considered nor European, nor Soviet, nor Balkan….as me it was also trapped between the Latin and the Slavic world….
PS: Apologises to my dutch friends... I am sure that the lady in cause is not representing them. In any case it could have been a similar lady from Sweeden, or UK or France, or it could have very well be a serious and important politician from Armenia.
(*) Not to forget to mention here the gold mining with cyanides – a very poisonous chemical substance used to extract the gold from the ores and that is proved of seriously harming the brain and heart and producing breathing difficulties and even coma and death - that is supposed taking place in the West Carpathians in Rosia Montana. Not only that the mining will displace households and people, or that it will produce a terrible environmental disaster by deforesting large areas, or poisoning air and soil, but the company that is owning 80% of the business, that is Canadian, appear of obtaining the contract by the unfair and unlawful influence of some Romanian politicians that are, of course not openly, included in the business… (http://www.rosiamontana.org/index.htm)
posted by aalto at 2:08 PM
4 Comments:
I don't feel insulted by your blog... (though these days you could wonder whether you can say something about a small part of other cultures without your nation's flag getting burned). What I do feel is ashamed about the fact that people like this lady are representing my country... They have a binding function, that's what they get paid for. And what do they do: they insult other people!
She should go back to Romania, visit the places I saw and meet the people I met during my trip to Romania. She would be ashtonished and filled with shame about herself.
do er really have to be proud of our countries? I mean i have some comfort zones in many countries and i have friends who make my stays joyful and heart warming. but proud? i do not think that i will ever be proud about austria as a whole
I guess i was not sure even myself if i wanted to say "proud" of my country or just " to find something good" about my country...
I admit we don't necessarily have to be proud of our countries... but we should at least like to live in them - something that motivates you staying and live your life as you want in the country that you’re born..
I started loosing hope finding such a thing or reason....
The only thing that can make be proud to be Romanian is... me. Same as being gay, being Romanian can can only be positive in connection with the other qualities / values that account for (my) humanity. I know I am opening a door for all sorts of comments, but I can only be made accountable for me, so I really do try my best. So should everybody else. Including stepping out of their glamorous Western boxes...
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